Helping Myself and Others Find a Home Within
Thirty million people struggle with an eating disorder. Thirty million people believe that the body they live in isn’t enough. I am one of those people. Since I was about eight years old, I have battled a disorder that made me believe that to love myself; I had to change my body. I am forever grateful that I found a committed yoga practice about two years ago; helping me reconstruct my relationship to myself from shame and guilt to compassion and love. With the help of Modo Yoga Nanaimo and my new role as a yoga teacher, I continue to cultivate a home within myself and hope to support others to do the same.
A Sneak Peek into my Story:
At the beginning of last year, I walked into my first yoga class at Modo Yoga Nanaimo. While I had done some yoga before I never understood the true beauty behind mindful movement and meditation. However, within the Modo community, I felt ready to immerse myself. In a community of like-minded individuals, I felt myself surrounded by others who were moving, breathing, sweating, and probably also working through some blocks. I took my first class and then found myself there five times a week. After about a year of practicing at the studio and becoming an Ambassador, I had a deep desire to be the one guiding individuals in the hot room. In February of this year, I took my Modo Yoga Level 1 Teacher Training.
Through an intense 30 days of learning and healing, I started to look at yoga beyond just the asana (movement). Yoga helps you to be in your body, your mind, and (as cheesy as it might sound) your soul. When you practice, it’s just you and your mat. There’s nothing to hide behind and no cozy corners where you can to curl up. It’s you and your thoughts. You learn a lot in that space, and it’s uncomfortable and terrifying as ever. However, healing doesn’t always come easily. I think that when I was able to look my darkness in the eye and be fully with it, that’s when I began to grow. So, practice by practice; I looked at my eating disorder in the eye, and I started to cultivate a home where I never thought there could be. I began to find a home within myself.
Where I’m at Today:
I am now a yoga teacher at Modo Yoga Nanaimo. It still feels weird coming off my tongue. I am filled with gratitude to have the chance to dive into a teaching position at the studio this summer. Decide who I will be as a teacher, and what kind of classes I’ll lead has been an ongoing process. But there are a few things which I know that I want to share with students: You are enough, exactly the way you are. The body that you walked into the hot room is enough. I want to encourage individuals to feel safe, grounded, and loved in their skin. I want to hold space for my students to start feeling at home within their bodies. Coming home to my body is a journey that I’ve been on for the majority of my life, and it’s something that I hope for even one student to feel in my classes. I believe it’s a privilege to teach such a sacred practice, and I want to use this privilege that I have been gifted to share the benefits of this practice with others.
If you haven’t yet heard it in one of my classes: YOU ARE ENOUGH.
